Thursday, December 6, 2007

Etiquette and Resignation

So what is the proper etiquette for Holiday Parties? I'm talking about what to wear, how much to drink, who to invite, what to serve, how to be a good guest, what to do at the office party...etc. I was discussing this today on the wondrous G-chat with my friend Hurricane. We had come across the topic of Holiday Party invitations, and how one should react to not being invited to a party. She recounted her reaction to an ice-skating party she was not invited to in the third grade:

Hurricane: "Oh Suzy, did my invitation to your ice-skating party get lost in the mail? 'Cause I know you would have invited me."

Hurricane is one of my favorite people. Her shrewd humor was demonstrated as a mere third grader, sarcastically commenting on an invitation to an ice-skating party.

Once when I was in first grade, all my friends were whispering about going to "Jane's" birthday party. I had not received an invitation. When I asked her about it, she told me she "ran out of invitations". I was crushed that the local pharmacy had sold out of birthday invitations...what rotten luck.



Ok, so the next part of my blog is going to be, well, quite descriptive. But the description is necessary to properly convey the situation. So be warned that you may discover some revealing information about me. But I'm willing to do it for a laugh. Enjoy.

Today I resigned from my job.

I was extremely nervous about having to tell my supervisor that I had found a new job and was leaving. Someone else had just resigned earlier this week, so it was just like a second beating over the head for my employer that an additional person was leaving as well. I had been thinking about it all morning, which didn't help my nervousness.

When I get nervous, I tend to smile a lot. I'm talking shit-eating grin. I think everything is hysterical, even in the most inappropriate situations. I try my hardest to keep a straight, sober face, but I can never manage it and always end up looking messed up in the end. My mind is telling my face to act normal, but my nerves are telling it to smile. It never works out.

Also when I get nervous, I tend to sweat a lot, generally in the pit areas. I am normally a dry person, but when I get really nervous, the glands open. I think this is a fairly common nervous symptom, no big deal.

Red splotches around my neck also come along with my nervousness. And when I drink. I have very pale, sensitive skin so any strong change in mood or similar situation tends to affect the color of my neck.

And the final, most embarrassing thing that happens only when I get extremely nervous: I tend to...um...putting it delicately...I tend to break wind. Yes, I said it. Now we're not talking rip roaring situations, we're talking silent situations. One may notice an odd essence, I would say.

So, when I finally was able to go talk to my boss, I was terrified of the state I was in. I imagined myself from his perspective: a grinning, sweaty, smelly, splotchy mess sitting in front of him, perched uncomfortably in the office chair. My face was probably twisting between grin and scowl in my attempt to look normal, and I was terrified to open my mouth, because I knew a loud peal of laughter would most likely come out of it. I'm sure it was terrifying for him.


Disclaimer: Just so you know, I generally have enough composure to hide these unfortunate ailments that affect me during nervousness. I'm sure I didn't look that bad...at least I hope...

P.S. When I was googling a synonym for the word "Fart", a colleague came up to my desk before I could successfully minimize the screen. Damn.

3 comments:

suicide_blond said...

so long as you dont "get nervous" at the holiday parties..you should be great...
as for what to wear..i like to dress like a hooker whenever possible ...sooo the holidays are my fave time of year..cause not only can i dress like a hooker i can dress like one from the 80's...lol....xoxo

I-66 said...

Woo! More unemployed bloggers! Though your unemployed status appears voluntary.. still, woo!

And seriously, I thought my nervous yawning was bad. You have me beat ten times over.

BrokeInDC said...

blond: yes, I only get nervous in extreme situations, so I think I'll be ok at the holiday parties

i-66: I have never heard of nervous yawning, but it definitely sound way better than my situation