Its been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to write something down for my beloved blog, and I apologize (to any of you who actually care).
ANYWAYS…something interesting happened to me a few weekends ago, and I’ve been DYING to write about it.
Ahem.
What is the friggin’ deal with all the hungry bitches in DC metro area bars?
I was at the lovely E.J.’s Landing in College Park the other weekend. A friend of StuD’s and mine was performing there, and we had promised to go listen to him play. I managed to drag C-Dubs along, because well, ya know, I was going to a bar in College Park and needed someone to be bitter with.
We got there early enough to score a sweet spot at the bar. It was obviously prime real estate, because all the local townies were perched right next to us. They had clearly been drinking since they left work (if not before). We ordered a few drinks and waited for our friend to take the stage (and by stage I mean small section of floor in the corner).
By the time we had ordered a second round and a few plates of food, the place had become quite crowded with your typical College-Park-Bar horde: drunken underage girls who had pre-gamed just in case they couldn’t get a drink, surly looking guys trying to look tough, the random nerd crew who seemed thrilled just to be in a bar, the normal people (i.e. me, StuD, and C-dubs), and the random townies, including the obligatory 70-year old man who has some sort of nickname like “Old Whiskers” and will regale you with stories of his youth and how he used to bang beautiful young women, even though you are clearly looking the other way and trying to finagle another bar stool to put some distance between you and the old man.
Anyways, bar was getting crowded. Normally I don’t mind a bit of a crowded bar, but that night, I was just not in the mood. Which is probably why I got super pissed when a rando drunken sloot-bag wobbled over to my boyfriend and breathily asked “Ohhhh my gosh! Those french fries sssmell sooooo gooooooooood! Can I pleeeaaaasssse have one?”
My head snapped in her direction so fasted and I swear lightening literally flashed out of my eyeballs.
She hadn’t noticed me (well, at least she was pretending not to), so I spoke up, “No! You can’t have any f*cking french fries. Who walks up to someone in the bar and just asks them for french fries?!”
“Oh well I was just reallllllly hungry and they ssssmellled sooooo gooooooood!” she said playfully to my boyfriend, answering my question but not looking at me. Another bolt of lightening flashed out of my eyes.
“Um, huh?” StuD asked her.
“Oh well your fries just ssssmellled ssssoooooo delissssscious and I was just wondering if I could have one, pleasssse?!” the witch crooned again to my boyfriend.
I snatched up the menu sitting in front of me. “Here!” I said, waving it in her face. “Order your own friggin’ fries!”
StuD cut me off, “Yeah sure, have a fry.” And proceeded to hand the girl a french fry.
What. The. Frick. I thought to myself.
I shot another bolt of lightening from my eyes his way, and then stormed outside, dragging C-Dubs with me to recap the situation. After a few minutes of me fuming about the “French Fry Bitch” and my boyfriend, StuD came outside, holding my plate of fries.
“She started eating all of them!” he exclaimed to me. “All my fries, and then she started eating YOUR fries!”
What the hell did he THINK she was gonna do? Eat a fry then leave him alone? Yeah right. This girl was on a mission…a mission for fries and my boyfriend. I told him that, and to this day (two weeks later) he just thinks she was a drunk girl who was hungry.
But forget about StuD for a sec, and let’s talk about French Fry Bitch. What has the world come to when girls are just walking up to men, asking for food? Since when did that become acceptable? I obviously missed the memo that asking for food is the new pick up line.
ANYWAYS…something interesting happened to me a few weekends ago, and I’ve been DYING to write about it.
Ahem.
What is the friggin’ deal with all the hungry bitches in DC metro area bars?
I was at the lovely E.J.’s Landing in College Park the other weekend. A friend of StuD’s and mine was performing there, and we had promised to go listen to him play. I managed to drag C-Dubs along, because well, ya know, I was going to a bar in College Park and needed someone to be bitter with.
We got there early enough to score a sweet spot at the bar. It was obviously prime real estate, because all the local townies were perched right next to us. They had clearly been drinking since they left work (if not before). We ordered a few drinks and waited for our friend to take the stage (and by stage I mean small section of floor in the corner).
By the time we had ordered a second round and a few plates of food, the place had become quite crowded with your typical College-Park-Bar horde: drunken underage girls who had pre-gamed just in case they couldn’t get a drink, surly looking guys trying to look tough, the random nerd crew who seemed thrilled just to be in a bar, the normal people (i.e. me, StuD, and C-dubs), and the random townies, including the obligatory 70-year old man who has some sort of nickname like “Old Whiskers” and will regale you with stories of his youth and how he used to bang beautiful young women, even though you are clearly looking the other way and trying to finagle another bar stool to put some distance between you and the old man.
Anyways, bar was getting crowded. Normally I don’t mind a bit of a crowded bar, but that night, I was just not in the mood. Which is probably why I got super pissed when a rando drunken sloot-bag wobbled over to my boyfriend and breathily asked “Ohhhh my gosh! Those french fries sssmell sooooo gooooooooood! Can I pleeeaaaasssse have one?”
My head snapped in her direction so fasted and I swear lightening literally flashed out of my eyeballs.
She hadn’t noticed me (well, at least she was pretending not to), so I spoke up, “No! You can’t have any f*cking french fries. Who walks up to someone in the bar and just asks them for french fries?!”
“Oh well I was just reallllllly hungry and they ssssmellled sooooo gooooooood!” she said playfully to my boyfriend, answering my question but not looking at me. Another bolt of lightening flashed out of my eyes.
“Um, huh?” StuD asked her.
“Oh well your fries just ssssmellled ssssoooooo delissssscious and I was just wondering if I could have one, pleasssse?!” the witch crooned again to my boyfriend.
I snatched up the menu sitting in front of me. “Here!” I said, waving it in her face. “Order your own friggin’ fries!”
StuD cut me off, “Yeah sure, have a fry.” And proceeded to hand the girl a french fry.
What. The. Frick. I thought to myself.
I shot another bolt of lightening from my eyes his way, and then stormed outside, dragging C-Dubs with me to recap the situation. After a few minutes of me fuming about the “French Fry Bitch” and my boyfriend, StuD came outside, holding my plate of fries.
“She started eating all of them!” he exclaimed to me. “All my fries, and then she started eating YOUR fries!”
What the hell did he THINK she was gonna do? Eat a fry then leave him alone? Yeah right. This girl was on a mission…a mission for fries and my boyfriend. I told him that, and to this day (two weeks later) he just thinks she was a drunk girl who was hungry.
But forget about StuD for a sec, and let’s talk about French Fry Bitch. What has the world come to when girls are just walking up to men, asking for food? Since when did that become acceptable? I obviously missed the memo that asking for food is the new pick up line.
3 comments:
Ha! I'm guessing once upon a time I bummed a fry or two, but I don't think I would EVER bum food straight out of the gate.
Drunk chicks are so weird.
Wow, she has some balls. I think its funny you waved a menu in her face lol.......I would have held a fry to her face and said "Someone should really stab you in the eye with a hot french fry."
anyway, glad you posted.
Shannon: I too have bummed fries...probably enough fries to cure world hunger. But I have never bummed food from a random...only friends. Drunk chicks are weird.
Capitol Hill: I was close to slapping that girl in the face with the menu. And its too bad I didn't think to throw fries in her face...
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