To Scoot or Not to Scoot, that is the question

I. Want. A. Scooter.

Or Moped…or “ped”…or whatever you kids are calling them these days. I have been entertaining the idea of purchasing a scooter for some time now. I dream about scooting around Old Town, swinging by Le Pain Quotidien for a sourdough loaf, hitting Grape + Bean for a full-bodied red, and then making my way to Knit Happens to quite literally pick up some new threads. My insides always do a tiny lurch when I spot someone zooming through Old Town on a scooter. I resist the urge to stop my car, jump out, and flag them down to ask them a zillion questions regarding scoot laws, scooting in Old Town, commuting scooting, etc. etc. etc.

To quench the thirst I have for scooter knowledge, I am posting my questions into the blogosphere, hoping that someone will be kind enough to drop by and leave an insightful comment, or just hoping that writing my concerns down will help me answer some questions for myself. And just so you know, I’m not a blithering idiot. I have done research online and have found answers to many of my queries, but it just helps to use a variety of resources, n’est-ce pas?

So here are some factors I need to take into consideration:

First of all, I have no scooter knowledge, and wouldn’t even know what particularly to look for when attempting to purchase a scooter.

Second of all, is it a death wish to try and ride a scooter to work every day from Old Town to Crystal City on Rt. 1 in rush hour traffic?

Lastly, will I actually end up saving money by purchasing a scooter? Will I really ride it?

Ok, so, many things to contemplate.

Let’s start with my lack of scooter knowledge. I have been doing some research online and have found some great websites and articles (Is a motor scooter in your future?). I feel somewhat educated on the topic, but I definitely want to hear a first hand opinion of what a good commuter scooter would be for the D.C. area. SO, I am going to go to a scooter store and when I see a scooter perched on a sidewalk in Old Town, I will stalk out the owner to ask questions. For example, should I get something larger than a 50cc? (If I do that, the scooter will technically be considered a motorcycle by Virginia law, which means rules/regulations/fees etc….but that’s probably a whole new post.)

Ok, so, what about my daily commute? Every morning and every evening I take Rt. 1 to work (the most daunting of the roads I am on during my travel). It is the stretch between Old Town and Crystal City, you know, where they are doing construction on that overpass thing. Would I be safe during my commute? I will obviously be wearing a helmet, but should I consider taking an alternate route to work (Mt. Vernon Ave, for example) if I do purchase a scooter? Also, inclement weather. I sure as hell am not going to schlep through the rain on my scooter…but that is what having my car is for.

Which brings us to the financial impact of purchasing a scooter. I have yet to figure out the exact calculations, but I know I will be saving money on gas by scooting every day to work. Also, purchasing a scooter will allow me to put off buying a new car (an idea which I have also been entertaining). But let’s be honest…gas prices aren’t exactly going down, my car is paid off, and I don’t know if I want to deal with a car payment. Sure, I could afford it, but I don’t really need a new car right now. So I will spend the majority of my travel time scooting, with a car to back me up for highway travel (riding a scooter on the beltway is just as bad as riding a bike on the beltway), inclement weather, and big shopping trips.

SO, it seems that I have a lot to consider. Your remarks, comments, and helpful tips are greatly appreciated.

Asking for Food: The New Pick-up Line

Its been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to write something down for my beloved blog, and I apologize (to any of you who actually care).

ANYWAYS…something interesting happened to me a few weekends ago, and I’ve been DYING to write about it.

Ahem.

What is the friggin’ deal with all the hungry bitches in DC metro area bars?

I was at the lovely E.J.’s Landing in College Park the other weekend. A friend of StuD’s and mine was performing there, and we had promised to go listen to him play. I managed to drag C-Dubs along, because well, ya know, I was going to a bar in College Park and needed someone to be bitter with.

We got there early enough to score a sweet spot at the bar. It was obviously prime real estate, because all the local townies were perched right next to us. They had clearly been drinking since they left work (if not before). We ordered a few drinks and waited for our friend to take the stage (and by stage I mean small section of floor in the corner).

By the time we had ordered a second round and a few plates of food, the place had become quite crowded with your typical College-Park-Bar horde: drunken underage girls who had pre-gamed just in case they couldn’t get a drink, surly looking guys trying to look tough, the random nerd crew who seemed thrilled just to be in a bar, the normal people (i.e. me, StuD, and C-dubs), and the random townies, including the obligatory 70-year old man who has some sort of nickname like “Old Whiskers” and will regale you with stories of his youth and how he used to bang beautiful young women, even though you are clearly looking the other way and trying to finagle another bar stool to put some distance between you and the old man.

Anyways, bar was getting crowded. Normally I don’t mind a bit of a crowded bar, but that night, I was just not in the mood. Which is probably why I got super pissed when a rando drunken sloot-bag wobbled over to my boyfriend and breathily asked “Ohhhh my gosh! Those french fries sssmell sooooo gooooooooood! Can I pleeeaaaasssse have one?”

My head snapped in her direction so fasted and I swear lightening literally flashed out of my eyeballs.

She hadn’t noticed me (well, at least she was pretending not to), so I spoke up, “No! You can’t have any f*cking french fries. Who walks up to someone in the bar and just asks them for french fries?!”

“Oh well I was just reallllllly hungry and they ssssmellled sooooo gooooooood!” she said playfully to my boyfriend, answering my question but not looking at me. Another bolt of lightening flashed out of my eyes.

“Um, huh?” StuD asked her.

“Oh well your fries just ssssmellled ssssoooooo delissssscious and I was just wondering if I could have one, pleasssse?!” the witch crooned again to my boyfriend.

I snatched up the menu sitting in front of me. “Here!” I said, waving it in her face. “Order your own friggin’ fries!”

StuD cut me off, “Yeah sure, have a fry.” And proceeded to hand the girl a french fry.

What. The. Frick. I thought to myself.

I shot another bolt of lightening from my eyes his way, and then stormed outside, dragging C-Dubs with me to recap the situation. After a few minutes of me fuming about the “French Fry Bitch” and my boyfriend, StuD came outside, holding my plate of fries.

“She started eating all of them!” he exclaimed to me. “All my fries, and then she started eating YOUR fries!”

What the hell did he THINK she was gonna do? Eat a fry then leave him alone? Yeah right. This girl was on a mission…a mission for fries and my boyfriend. I told him that, and to this day (two weeks later) he just thinks she was a drunk girl who was hungry.

But forget about StuD for a sec, and let’s talk about French Fry Bitch. What has the world come to when girls are just walking up to men, asking for food? Since when did that become acceptable? I obviously missed the memo that asking for food is the new pick up line.

One more for the road

Ok, so I know I said I was going to be done with pet stories, but I saw this in the news the other day and thought it was appropriate for the pet series:

Snake eats family dog as kids watch

Its terrifyingly hilarious. And just in case you are too lazy to click on the link, here are the story highlights, as outlined by CNN.com:

Story Highlights
· 16-foot scrub python stalked family's pet for days, expert says
· Kids, ages 5 and 7, see their dog eaten by snake
· Snake digesting dog in zoo, will be released into wild

Can you imagine strolling out into your backyard to play a game of fetch with your favorite pooch, only to find a GIANT SNAKE EATING YOUR DOG. Those kids are scarred for life.


ANYWAYS

On Friday something absolutely amazing happened. I got my very own desk.

That’s right, I’ve been working at this new job for over two months now, and I JUST got a desk. Never mind the fact that I still need to go through a metal detector and be escorted into the building every day. Someday, some new, glorious day, I will get a badge that will allow me to walk in without an escort and will exempt me from the metal detector. Now THAT will be reason for celebration.