My Last Meal

At work the other day someone was eating something for lunch with an aroma that was hauntingly similar to that of a school cafeteria lunch.



I friggin’ loved those high school lunches.



I don’t care if you think that is gross. They were so tasty, despite the fact that they were most likely saturated with sodium, processing chemicals, and god knows what else. And I loved how the trays had little sections for everything…the milk, dessert, buttered bread, veggie, main dish, and spork. I think they looked something like this:

This high-quality paint image that took me a super long time to make represents my most favorite school lunch of all time: Salisbury steak, fake mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, buttered bread, graham cracker with pink frosting, milk, and spork. Damn that sounds good.

I remember in school everyone was always like, “EEW! Its Salisbury steak day! Grosssss!” and I was like, “Yeah, Salisbury steak day, uh, totally sucks, yeah.” When I secretly was like, “Yes! I friggin’ LOVE Salisbury steak day! O man, will they be grossed out if I ask for an extra serving of fake mashed potatoes…do I even have the extra 35 cents on me?” You know, because it was extra for a double serving of something.

If I happened to pack my lunch that day, I would just leave it in my locker and be like, “Oh man, I forgot my lunch today. Now I HAVE to get Salisbury steak.” And all my friends would say, “Oh, that’s too bad. Salisbury steak is so gross.” I would sadly nod, when in my mind I was jumping for joy over Salisbury steak.

I used to eat it and be all like, “Ew, these mashed potatoes are so fake tasting.” (but secretly delicious) and “Salisbury steak, gross. What is it even made of?” (Who cares, its so good). I would even make accompanying faces of disgust. If only my friends knew I was twisting my grins of delight into scowls.

I bet all my friends secretly loved the Salisbury steak day too. You tricky bitches.

If I had to choose a last meal, THIS would be it.