A Total Waste of Water

It's official. I am a bad person.

Today I watched a guy unknowingly dump an entire bottle of water all over his briefcase and office floor. I watched the whole thing without giving a word of warning.

Here is how it went down...

It was the end of a long work day. A group of me and my co-workers trudged into the elevator lobby on the 11th floor to wait for an elevator down. *Ding* An elevator opened up, and we all quickly shuffled in.

We went down a few floors and stopped at 9th. The elevator was a little stuffed, and I was standing near the front. Everyone behind me was engrossed in work conversation and, as I prefer to not discuss work as soon as I walk out of my cube, I was left to my own devices.

Now before I get into more details of the water incident, let me tell you a little bit about the elevators in my building. There are, um, about a MILLION of them. So basically, when you are waiting for an elevator, you kind of have to stand in the middle of of the lobby because you don't know which one will open up. And let me tell you, if you are standing at the end of the lobby, and an elevator on the other end opens up, you better be damn sure you are running to make that elevator, because its a big lobby and the doors don't stay open forever. Imagine 6 guys in suits milling about the center of an elevator lobby, poised, waiting for the *ding* signaling an opening, and then the mad dash to cram into the elevator. That's kind of what its like...most of the time.

So anyways, the doors open on 9, and the gentleman waiting for an elevator made a quick U-turn to head toward the waiting elevator. In one arm he was clutching a stack of papers. In his other arm, he was holding a giant bottle of water...you know, one of those huge bottles that seem like a good idea at the time of purchase but always get in the way and will sadly never fit in your car cup holders. On the same arm that was carrying the bottle of water was the man's briefcase, dangling off the crook of his arm. As he swung around to dash towards the elevator, his briefcase slipped down his arm to his wrist. He obviously forgot he was lugging a giant opened bottle of water, because his hand tilted down to support the briefcase that had just slipped to his wrist and the water started to pour. Everywhere.

Now, here I am, standing in the front of the elevator crowd, watching this poor soul trying to successfully make it to the elevator. He had no idea that water was gushing all over his briefcase as he powerwalked toward the elevator, nor that it was splashing all over the lobby floor. No one else noticed either, as they were all engrossed in their own conversation. So this man is running toward the elevator, water splashing everywhere, leaving a potential lawsuit all over the elevator lobby. As he jumped lightly into the elevator, I gave him a big smile and said, "Great day, isn't it?"

He nodded, smiling back, slightly out of breath, and just then felt the water still streaming off his briefcase.

I laughed to myself the whole way home...if I passed you in the tunnels of Crystal City and I was smiling like a creep, I'm sorry...I just couldn't get over the man and his water. Hell, I was so distraught by it that I was looking for the SmarTrip pad at the top of the metro escalator...silly me.